Punching Above Your Weight

Who influences whom? How big does a minority be to have a public voice? Plainly some groups acquire visibility and power out of all proportion to their numbers. Obvious examples include the Irish and Jewish communities. Who gives a fig about the huge German slice of the USA population - never mind the Serbs, Armenians, etc? Even the gruesome collection of Irish gangsters and terrorists who seem to have no problems accessing the White House for photocalls with the President have only a tiny organisation behind them - albeit they are backed by plenty of money derived from drug dealing and other racketeering.

I was fascinated to see the figures quoted for the main British atheist organisations - the British Humanist Association, the Rationalist Press Association and the National Secular Society have a few thousand members each out of a population of 60 million plus. Even the poor old Church of England, in its present diminished and fragmented state, boasts anywhere from 900,000 to 1,700,000 "regular" worshipers - depending on which figure you believe and how you define "regular". Catholic and Muslim communities similarly outnumber the atheists. Even the smaller Baptist, Methodist, Jewish, Sikh, Hindu and Buddhist communities dwarf the card-carrying atheists. Yet, the militant atheists are granted regular access to Parliamentary committees formulating public policy and future legislation.

From one viewpoint it is bizarre that such atheist organisations even exist. If you are a tennis player or a stamp collecting enthusiast you may join a club of like minded people. If you have no interest in such pursuits, you don't join a society of non-tennis players or one devoted to denouncing the evils of stamp collecting. As organisations inspired mainly by opposition to something else, atheist groups inevitably have problems attracting people for positive reasons.

Purely rationalist ethical and philosophical theories about how to lead a Good Life are utterly abstract and bloodless constructions with zero popular appeal. There is no such thing as a "non-practising" atheist. Admittedly in the late 19th century there were "Ethical Societies" which held quasi-religious meetings in London for non-believers in an age of widespread church attendance. These were forerunners of the present-day atheist movements. But most run of the mill modern British atheists seem content to wander through life in a state of non-belief without seeking formal attachment to any atheist club.

It is hardly surprising that the professional atheists end up adopting some ludicrous positions in opposition to Christian organisations, even those with the most marginal Christian influence. My favorite recent example was the campaign about the Scouts' oath mentioning God. The ever wickedly funny Bryan Appleyard (I recommend his demolition job on Princess Diana) had huge fun putting the boot in. See Oh Grow Up!

After all, if the atheists want a world wide atheist youth movement, there's nothing to stop them putting their money where their mouth is and doing just that, rather than bullying an organisation which had Christian foundations. Admittedly the history of non-Christian youth groups is not encouraging: the Hitler Youth, the Communist Pioneers, the Red Guards...all crumbled to dust like a vampire at dawn.

Politically Incorrect - Cuba Solidarity and Gay Liberation

2009 is a year of multiple anniversaries - 70th anniversary of the start of WW2, 40th anniversary of the first Moon landing, 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall....oh, and the 50th anniversary of Castro's seizing power in Cuba. One of the many enjoyable and heartwarming sights recently has been numerous writers pouring excrement over the great man and all his works - notably Theodore Dalrymple at his best:

Cuba a Cemetery of Hopes

It is a measure of how far French political writers have come since the enchanted summer of '68; who could have imagined that "Le Monde" would one day be so critical of left wing Paradises?

It also reminded me of one of the most hilarious events in my life - better than any movie or stage comedian I have paid to see. It was the 1993 conference of my union in Bournemouth, on the South Coast. A motion was proposed that our union affiliate to the Cuba Solidarity Campaign. Normally, with all the gruesome old Stalinists on the Executive Committee, such a motion would have been instantly passed nem con (without dissent). Unfortunately, a Gay Liberation speaker jumped up to protest at Castro's treatment of his brethren in Havana. For a few terrible minutes two forms of Political Correctness faced a head-on crash. You could feel the Castro supporters tying themselves in knots trying not to offend the gays while upholding Fidel and all his marvelous works. Finally, the Cuba motion was passed, but it was a close-run thing......

Stranger Than Satire - Porn and Crucifixes

It's getting harder and harder distinguishing between spoof news reports and so-called "real life". I was browsing the ever-funny "Daily Mash" website and then switched over to the allegedly serious "Daily Telegraph" for the "real news". What do I see? An item explaining that US porn barons are applying to Congress for a $5 billion bailout for the adult entertainment industry. Seems reasonable - the porn merchants probably have more satisfied customers than the Big Three of Detroit who are getting so much taxpayers' money.

But in the "Holy Smoke" blog on the "Telegraph" website its Religious Affairs correspondent Damian Thompson describes an even more surreal story from the little town of Horsham in the beautiful county of Sussex, south of London. The vicar at the Church of England parish has taken down the crucifix outside the church as it is a too-graphic depiction of pain and suffering. As Damian explains patiently, the Crucifixion involved nailing a man to a piece of wood......


Crucifix depicts pain and suffering, says vicar. So he takes it down.

The vicar of St John's Church, Horsham, has taken down a crucifix from the front of his church because its depiction of pain and suffering was too vivid. The Rev Ewen Souter was worried that the sculpture (which had been on the building for 45 years) might detract from the parish's "welcoming"...

Click on link for blog post. Image on this blog is NOT the crucifix at St. John's.

Serious Disrespect

Two of my favourite commentators' paths converged recently. Peter Hitchens in England and Steve Chapman in the "Chicago Tribune" both noted the impact of security mania on free speech and insulating politicians from legitimate protests. The occasion of Peter's reflections on 22 December 2008 (http:/www.hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk) was the Iraqi guy who threw his shoes at George Bush - this is apparently a seriously offensive gesture in the Middle East. Peter ponders the most appropriate footwear - ordinary slip-ons are legitimate protest, while heavy boots might count as a weapon.

As Peter notes, more robust politicians used to accept heckling and rotten eggs as part of the democratic process. Before the days of the mass media, politicians had to go out and make loads of speeches in numerous places, without benefit of present day security. They inevitably faced the direct wrath of the electorate. It kept them in touch with ordinary people. Examples abound, but my favourite was the Victorian politician who was denounced by a voter at a rally:

"I wouldn't vote for you if you were the Archangel Gabriel".

"If I was the Archangel Gabriel, sir, you wouldn't be in my constituency...."

Steve Chapman on 24 December (http:/www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-oped1224chapmandec24,0,32491.column) notes the example of two peaceful protesters at a Bush rally, which was allegedly open to the general public - not just the Party faithful. They simply displayed two T-shirts with mild anti-Bush slogans and were immediately evicted by the police. Evidently a "balanced" Bush audience is divided between those who like him and those who love him.

Peter notes a similar example from the 2005 Labour Party conference, where debate used to be vigorous and uninhibited, to put it mildly. A 82 year old delegate, Walter Wolfgang, had been a Jewish refugee from Nazi Germany. He shouted "Nonsense" at some particularly ludicrous speech and was promptly seized by two of Blair's goons and evicted from the hall. Most of us felt that his intervention was excessively polite, given the indescribable garbage spouted at such events. Fortunately the whole affair was captured on camera and even Tony B Liar was forced to apologize.

What on earth would the security thugs do with Catalan protesters? I was introduced to this aspect of Catalonian culture at Midnight Mass at Douai. A know-all friend and I were admiring the simple Manger scene erected at the side of the high altar. He told me about the "caganer" or crapper who is a key character in Catalan manger sets. Along with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the animals, shepherds and the Three Wise Men, there is a guy taking a dump in a corner of the stable. He has been a disreputable hanger on at the Nativity in Northern Spain since the 16th century. Often he is portrayed as some public hate figure. So guess who this year's favourite caganer is? Squat forward, GWB...... see this wonderful article by a New Zealand writer living in Barcelona http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0512/S00250.htm .

Thank You For Those Emails

Dear family member and Friends



As we move closer to the end of another year I wanted to thank you for all the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the past year.



I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.



Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.



I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates and Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died inestate.



And I need no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.



I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.



I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.



I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.



I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a food sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a
phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.



I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.



I can't even pick up the five pounds I found dropped in the car park because it was probably put there by a crazed axe murderer waiting under my car to grab my leg.



If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 10 minutes, a large pelican with an acute case of diarrhoea will sit on your head and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a most unsightly hairy hump. 

I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's plumber - and it was on the Today Show.



By the way.... did you know that a South American scientist has, after a lengthy study, discovered that people with low IQs who don't have enough sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.



Regards,


Your good friend in the UK

Christmas Greetings to the USA form the UK

Sunday 21 December. A short drive west of Reading to Douai Abbey on the shortest night of the year for the Advent service of music, scripture readings and reflections by the monks. The exquisite music was conducted as usual by Dr John Rowntree, who has been running the music at Douai since the year dot. Driving home through the dark Berkshire countryside I was trying out a recently bought Johny Cash CD. Track 9 is introduced by merrily strumming guitar chords:

"My name it is Sam Hall, Sam Hall,
My name it is Sam Hall, it's Sam Hall,
My name it is Sam Hall,
And I hate you, one and all....."

It's always good to have an alternative voice at this time of compulsory love and peace to all mankind. I bought this album some weeks ago, and had put off listening to it until now, for the same reason - Track 2, "Hurt". I was introduced to this searing confessional piece by Madeleine Bunting, a presenter on "Something Understood", part of BBC Radio 4's early Sunday morning Godslot. Her subject for that week was pain and suffering and "Hurt" was one of the songs she played. The Man In Black, as usual, tells it like it is. There can't be many songs about injecting yourself for diabetes - I don't know of any others. Some have called it Cash's epitaph; it describes like few other songs the torments of physical disintegration and loneliness as your contemporaries die off.

Speaking of pain, I was doing some last minute shopping in Waterstones (the British equivalent of Barnes and Noble) on Tuesday 23rd when I spotted a whole new section within the wall of tomes in "Biography". I am not making this up - this ceiling-to-floor bookcase was headed "Painful lives". And who was featured within this bookcase? The greatest shelf footage was given over to biographies of Princess Diana, one of the most over-privileged humans in history. Is it too late to persuade Tom Lehrer to come out of retirement to write a suitably brutal piss-take of a song?

This is the time of year when God makes a temporary break out of the Godslot and appears in some unlikely corners of the British media. Monday 22nd saw a discussion of Christmas traditions on "Beyond Belief", a 25 minute general religious discussion program at 430pm on Radio 4 which runs for only part of the year. On 15th December "Beyond Belief" covered religious attitudes to eithanasia. At other times of the year this slot is occupied by an even more unlikely subject. "More or less" enlightens you on the subject of mathematics and statistics. Such programs must be even rarer than songs about diabetes and "More or less" is always straightforward, informative and thought provoking - as is "Beyond Belief".

The trouble is that 25 minutes is hardly long enough to do justice to any serious topic, secular or sacred. On top of which, you can't help feeling that the time of day reflects the importance which BBC bigwigs attach to essential subjects of which they know nothing and care less. 430pm is almost another graveyard slot, like the 600am-9am place for the Godslot. 430pm is too late to include such material in schools programming. It is too early for the drive time listeners coming home from work. And even full time homemakers will be preoccupied with children fresh home from school. Yet maths and religion are at the heart of the modern world and modern science. Statistical information and disinformation is essential to all policy development in every area of public life and propaganda, from economics to climate change to social security decisions.

The local papers do huge spreads of photographs of Nativity plays from most of the local primary (elementary) schools, both religious and secular, a happy reminder that there is no separation of Church and State in Britain. Children dressed up as shepherds, the Wise Men plus Jesus and Mary, get almost as much coverage as the local sports teams for a day or two. Local clergy may get quoted on the meaning of Christmas, though, as ever, our asinine Archbishop of Canterbury is guaranteed a bigger quote as he opens his mouth on the possibility of disestablishing the Church of England. If even the guardians won't guard the national church, what hope has it got? It seems strange that it takes a practising Jew to make the case for retaining the Church of England's current privileged status in British society: see www.melaniephillips.com/articles-new/?p=631

Even that temple of secularity, "The Guardian" gives a few column inches to God - even if it is only the appalling Polly Toynbee, their star columnist, heading her Christmas message: "God probably does not exist". Well, at least she declares her vested interest - as "President of the British Humanist Association and honorary associate of the National Secular Society". One of the most heartwarming sights of nearly every week is the ferocious savaging which Polly receives in the reader comments posted after every column she writes. Any other columnist on any other paper would have been politely requested to retire years ago before she became a total embarassment to the editor and owner; I can assume only that she has a bomb proof contract for life.

This year we have not one but two Midnight Masses in the parish. St James, in the town centre, is having Mass in English, while St William of York, in the University area, is having a full-blown Tridentine Latin celebration, probably with excellent choral support. Apparently they had Latin Midnight Mass at St William in 2007, but it was not publicised widely. I shall be paying a return visit to Douai on Wednesday evening for the 900pm Mass. You have a magnificent sung celebration, Benedictine hospitality afterwards with mulled wine and mince pies, plus you get to bed at a reasonable hour.

With fondest greetings to all in the USA.

Websense

As you might have guessed from earlier posts, I have a very soft spot for the politically and religiously deranged of all persuasions. I recently tried checking out one of my favourite nutcase websites which I had not visited for some time. I tried accessing the pompously named Institute for Historical Review at our local library and a reproving message from "Websense" covered the screen: "The websense category "Racism and Hatred" is filtered. Your Websense policy blocks this page at all times". Er, excuse me? MY Websense policy? I have no such policy banning entry to any website. I had to access www.ihr.org from home.

Plainly some opinions are more vile and abominable than others. The Institute for Historical Review is so far beyond the pale of decency that grown adults are not allowed to access it from a public library and make up their own minds as to whether it has any merit or not. The most unacceptable stance of the IHR is, almost certainly, its reputation for Holocaust denial, though its website contains a mass of material on other subjects.

Does Websense maintain similar vigilance with regard to other unacceptable opinions? It seems highly variable, to put it politely. I had no trouble using the library's PCs to view the "Monthly Review" website, which has peddled Marxist theory and apologias for Communist tyrants for years. I never have any difficulty getting onto the "Guardian" website, which regularly runs articles attacking the family. In fact, like every British public library, Reading stocks the hard copy of the Guardian so that local people who won't use computers can read its ludicrous drivel in print form. The peerless Theodore Dalrymple pointed out a particularly priceless example http://www.city-journal.org/2008/eon1204td.html. Dalrymple's typically superb article covered the cases of "Baby P", a little boy murdered by his "parents" and Shannon Matthews, the little Yorkshire girl who was the victim of a ludicrous "kidnapping" staged by her depraved mother. The tragic fate of these children was obviously the result of the breakdown of any "traditional" family structure. But what does the "Guardian" do? Run an article headed: "Marriage is a form of prostitution".

Where have I heard that before? Of course, it is yet another offspring of Marxist theory on the economic analysis of society's class and power structures. Given that such theories are as utterly discredited as Holocaust denial, you might have thought that society's moral guardians would have shielded us from such dangerous opinions. But some opinions are obviously more equal than others, to adopt George Orwell's dictum.

Incidentally, who was "Baby P"? His real name was Peter Connolly, a fact that you could discover from a few seconds on Google. But evidently the British courts and media feel that we should not know that fact either. Not a single newspaper or TV station has mentioned his re