Blair to Become Pope British Press Report

Dear Stan and Pam,

I thought you might enjoy the attached articles. The first is on the amazing
Fr Michael Seed, (a Fisher of Men if ever there was one), who has recently
published his autobiography. This covers only the 50 years of his life to
date. What will the complete version be like? The second describes, with
appropriately macabre humor, the recent exhibition of funeral goods at
Coventry, about 90 miles north of Reading. Naturally, Barry Albin-Dyer's son
Simon is quoted in the latter article. Probably Barry was too busy to
attend.

Fr Seed was interviewed by Roger Bolton on the regular Radio 4 "Sunday"
program early on 17th June 2007. You could hear the incredulity in Roger's
voice as Fr Seed explained that the worst details of his savage sexual abuse
at the hands of his adopted father had been watered down during the lengthy
editing of his autobiography. As Fr Seed is severely dyslexic, it is amazing
that he has produced any book at all - much less acquired three degrees and
two doctorates.

I was interested to see the idea that we will soon have to double-deck the
graves to fit all the deceased into the horribly expensive land area of
Britain. They have been doing this for centuries in Prague. The Jewish
cemetery in the Old Town could not be expanded due to the cramped ghetto
area, so the Jewish community created layer after layer of graves. The
"ground level" inside the cemetery is several feet above the level of the
surrounding streets. The "new" Jewish cemetery to the east of the city
centre, beside the TV tower, was created in the late 18th century when
Jewish emancipation meant that they could live and bury their dead outside
the ghetto. When I visited the new cemetery in 2003, it was a revelation to
see the languages on the tombstones. Most were inscribed with Hebrew.
Perhaps 10-15% were in German - to get ahead in the Austro-Hungarian Empire,
you had to learn German, just as you have to know English in present-day
Prague. I saw only one grave with a Czech epitaph in this Czech graveyard.

A few years ago there was a long-running story that Liz Hurley was going to
convert and, if my failing memory is correct, that Fr Seed was her spiritual
mentor. It was around the time of Hugh Grant's misadventure with Divine
Brown in Hollywood and the combination gave the cartoonists plenty of fun.
Our satirical magazine "Private Eye" ran a photo of Liz and Hugh topped with
the title "Hurley to become Catholic". Liz's speech balloon declared "It's a
divine calling", while the harrassed-looking Hugh retorted "Tell her I'm
out". I don't know if Liz has ever converted, though she certainly had her
out-of-wedlock son (by a different paramour) christened in a Catholic
church.

The Father Seed article was yet another reminder of the different worlds
within the small world of English Catholicism. In February I mentioned the
very "up-market" Brompton Oratory as an example of an upper-middle
class/upper class parish for wealthy Londoners. A recent newspaper article
mentioned a Brompton parishioner - a devout German noblewoman with an
eye-watering family fortune and a name longer than a Henry James sentence.
St James, Spanish Place is another prime example of a church for the
well-heeled. Compared with Brompton Oratory, it is an austerely decorated
building, but it has splendid proportions and the scale of a cathedral. It
is only ten minutes walk north of Oxford Street, so it is conveniently
placed for some of the most expensive shopping in the world. Around 1992, a
well-connected friend told me that the starting price to book St James for a
wedding would be £5,000+ (currently $10,000), so you can guess what it might
be now.

As you can see from the article, Fr Seed is practically court chaplain to
Tony Blair. Tony Blair's successor, Gordon Brown, comes from a stern
Scottish Presbyterian background - his father was actually a church minister
- so even Fr Seed will have an uphill struggle to convert him.


Inevitably the religious lives of the rich and famous attract doubters. The
(staunchley atheist) political columnist Simon Heffer wrote a suitably
sceptical article in the "Daily Telegraph" of 16th June 2007:


"The Pope's Catholic, but is Tony Blair?

The air is thick with rumours that the Prime Minister will, on leaving
Downing Street, convert to Roman Catholicism. I don't doubt Mr Blair is
sincerely religious, but I wonder how he would handle the teachings of the
Catholic Church? After all, as a recent convert from the world of politics,
Ann Widdecombe, said this week in another context, Catholicism is not a
"pick and mix" religion. Why go through the business of converting and,
indeed, dropping in to see the Pope next week as your last overseas public
engagement, if on converting you might not be able to accept some of the
Pope's most fundamental teachings? I am very unclear where Mr Blair stands
on abortion. His party seems at times so much in favour of it that I'm
surprised it hasn't made it compulsory. In the Church that he may be about
to join, it is one of the most unspeakable sins. Perhaps now that he has no
more elections to fight, and no need to pretend to be all things to all
people, Mr Blair will confront this issue: and what fun it will be if he
does. "

Most of the British population are unclear as to where Tony Blair stands on
anything, not just abortion. Again, "Private Eye" have had endless pleasure
with the overtly pious persona he projects and have run a riotously funny
page throughout his ten year reign. This page is the weekly newsletter of St
Albion's Church, with the Reverend A. Blair as vicar and Gordon Brown as the
hapless parish treasurer. Another British political journalist declared
(correctly) that Tony Blair "unblushingly reads from the first letter to the
Corinthians as if he had personally written it". Will a recent "Private Eye"
photograph prove to be a true prophecy in jest? It shows Tony in a
remorseful pose beside our local lad, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor.
"Forgive me, for I have spinned", he confesses. The title reads: "BLAIR TO
BECOME POPE?"

William Murphy,